The Cereal Bowl

 The contradictions are so many and so intricately jumbled that it becomes impossible to identify one

single clear solution.

I’m sorry, I always start like this, with the first sentence that pops right out of my mind. I also believe

it’s the best way to get going because this way, you write an honest flow of thoughts rather than try

to formulate sentences, paragraphs, hell the entire piece.

So the contradictions – two of them are quite distinct – one, the belief that the answer is within me,

no one else can help, no one else can serve it on a plate for me. Two, there is neither a solution, nor

a requirement for it, that everything that’s happening is already happening according to a bigger

plan and bothering to butt your own nose inside is exercising unnecessary energy and effort into

something that will still decide its own course ultimately.

Think about it like this – imagine a bowl of grain, of cereals. Now imagine picking up a spoon and

tossing it around in the bowl. Those grains or cereals or whatever is in it will move around, there will

be an upheaval, an avalanche, a catastrophe inside. Everything is forced into movement, with or

without consent. Those contents inside are going to move more or less in the general direction that

you’re tossing them in. Everything will be jumbled up. Everything will bump against everything else.

As it gets tossed, some of it will go in one direction, some in the other, but mostly it will move in the

general direction that you want it to. Some of it will get out, fall out. And you can stop for a while

and put them back in.

This is what life is, a toss in which we are the grains, moving despite ourselves, whether we like it or

not, whether we want to or not. There are times when we believe that just because we are moving,

we are capable of making a difference. But the truth is that the bowl is in someone else’s hands. Call

it God, or nature, or a higher power or whatever else you must, but the fact remains that you DO

NOT script your movement in life.

I know it sounds like a very dismal attitude, but for some reason, this is my belief in life. I believe

that nothing really makes a difference, that a difference doesn’t need to be made, that whatever

difference is dues, happens on its own, like the changing seasons, changing geography, extinction

and creation of species. It’s like it’s a mindless circle going around constantly without a defined

destiny or purpose except that to keep moving. It’s as if this mindless circle is stuck in some inertia

that has no external force to put it to rest, or to significantly affect its motion.

When I think about the magnitude of existence, the only thing I realize is that as one single entity I

am insignificant to the point of non-existence. There is no way in which I can see the entire picture,

why bother to change it then? It feels as if I’ve already looked for answers several times over and

have come to the conclusion that there is no substance in the question itself. It’s like you arrive with

a wonderful solution that can bring world peace, only to realize that people don’t really want world

peace, and that having that challenge of avoiding war is what drives them on, that violence is a

dominant human trait that will exist ultimately in one form or the other.

It’s like taking a bath every day and getting dirty all over again. There’s no final answer, no

permanent solution.

Why aim higher in life then? Why look for something else? Why contribute or take? Why work hard?

Why do anything at all except what is required, what is absolutely necessary for right now? Why

want more out of life and why expect it to happen and even more importantly, why believe that it

will bring that ever elusive feeling of happiness or satisfaction or peace in your life?

Peace, satisfaction and happiness are right now in life, in the belief that this world is absolutely,

perfectly right the way it is, that you do not have the burden to decide which way it goes, or where it

is heading now, that the fact that people are getting killed, raped and cheated because it is supposed

to happen that way and that when it reaches its climax, it will change on its own accord, not because

you did something about it, or someone else did something, but because it was going to happen

anyway. Peace is in understanding that you don’t really have to do anything, whether you die today,

or tomorrow, or several years later, once you’re dead, it’s not going to matter what you did to you,

and if it matters to someone else, they sure as hell won’t be able to find you and tell you about it. If

everyone in this world would assume this feeling of peace, satisfaction and happiness, perhaps this

mindless spinning will stop and we would stop being forced to play this game where we know

neither the rules, nor the goals, not the referee and sure as hell no audience. We don’t even know

why we keep playing, we don’t know if we have the choice to stop, hell, we don’t even know that if

we do stop, will it even be our decision.

This ‘drive’ that everyone keeps talking about, is it even ours? How do we know it’s not just a design

to keep us moving on, playing on? Have you ever wondered why should you even have it in the first

place? Who makes the final judgement that you’re a loser if you don’t have it? If someone else

passes judgement on you, why the hell should you give a damn, if you do it to yourself, why

shouldn’t you just stop judging and just let things be? What the hell is the whole damn purpose?

So many people walk around telling you they can help you, they can give you a direction to your life,

or help you decide that yourself. Hell if you need to be helped into it, how is it yours? What did you

achieve then? Stop letting people make a fool of yourselves. You don’t need help. You’re fine the

way you are. That is the greatest achievement isn’t it- doing it all on your own? How is it on your

own if someone has helped you into it?

Show that finger to the powers that be, tell them you’re not playing their game, tell them you don’t

need anything in life, tell them their recognition doesn’t count, tell them you’re not their piece of

free entertainment, tell them you’re not playing anymore.