Free is he who has no compulsions. We always respond to compulsions all our life long
- the compulsion to live
- the compulsion to fulfill desires
- the compulsion to fit in society
- the compulsion to achieve something
- the compulsion to progress spiritually
Be it noble or evil as long as we are slaves to our compulsions we are bound. Be it intrinsic or external, as long as we helplessly obey our compulsions, we are bound.
We feel compelled to earn, compelled to eat, to live. Some people feel compelled to rape, to murder or to cheat. There is no difference in any of the above from the point of view of freedom or liberation. Whether the good compels you or the bad, as long as you comply, you are bound.
Swamini Shraddhanand Saraswati says some people are like creepers, they need to cling to someone or something all the time. I feel all of us are creepers, we all cling to SOMETHING. Ofcourse, an enlightened being would not need to cling to anything, Even if he has everyone and everything clinging to him, he is free because he himself clings to nothing. Now all of this is in theory - I don't know if such people exist. I've heard Bhagwan Ramana was one such free being. I don't know for sure... I wish I had seen him, met him
This dependence, this helpless compulsion is very frustrating. Until some months ago I did not know I was trapped, now that I do, I hate it. I don't even know if it's true or if it is just some massive control tactic by our religion when all other tricks fail - just look at it this way - it appeals to our most basic need - to be free. It is said that to be free one has to have the highest qualifications, only the bravest and strongest can walk on this path, and even then only the highest of them are worthy. Who wouldn't want to prove themselves worthy? However, there is no tangible goal to achieve, nothing that we get back by giving everything up, no practical utility. And to top it all off, the actual fact is that we're already free, we are already everything that we have to strive to achieve, we just need to know it.
No, you don;t need to do it, you can keep living your life as it is. But it will never satisfy you, you will never be fully happy. But if you are liberated, you will be in a state of everlasting bliss. I'm wondering why they say that, This whole concept of 'everlasting' is very dubious. After all, everlasting is always interpreted as something that was, is and always be. How is that possible when the only state of time that truly exists is the tiny moment that we are now conscious of, everything else gets erased immediately like a sand drawing, either gone, or not in existence yet. Why this promise for 'everlasting' when that in itself is a paradox? That way, if you are happy, or even remember to be happy in your present moment, you are already free, already liberated.
As I write this, I want to send this to someone, to show it off, to get some recognition. Ther 'Creeper-ness' returns. Why would I want satisfaction that will exist momentarily when someone praises it? Or in the past which I will only remember (again for that tiny moment) that someone praised it? Or that non-existent future where someone might praise it....
Another set of compulsion follows - first the compulsion to share it and feel good about it and then the compulsion to stop myself from sharing it and practise self control for my 'spiritual upliftment'. Whether I follow either I am trapped.
But as far as I know there is no third way... and I am supposed to find the FOURTH me... Again, is there a scam here.... or not?
